Congratulations!
We are delighted that you
are planning to be married at St. Bartholomew Parish.
We
hope that your wedding will be a joyful and a grace-filled expression of your
love and
vows of life-long fidelity in the Lord: “Christ
abundantly blesses your love. He
enriches
and strengthens you by a special sacrament so that you may assume the duties of
marriage
in mutual and lasting fidelity.” (from
The Rite of Marriage)
These guidelines have been
established to help you plan your wedding celebration.
The
regulations presented reflect the laws and policies of the Catholic Church, the
Diocese of
Portland, and St. Bartholomew Parish.
Please accept our sincere best wishes and prayers for a happy life together.
Should We Schedule a Meeting With the Pastor or Deacon?
Yes.
Once you have made the decision to marry, the pastor, or the deacon, will
want to
meet with you to learn more about you and your relationship with each other.
They will
ask you such things as how the two of you came to meet each other, your personal
and
family background, and your future plans together.
This interview allows the three of
you to talk about the issues and experiences of your relationship and your
experience of
God’s presence in that relationship.
What Is a Pre-Marital Questionnaire?
Before a wedding date can be
finalized, you will be required to complete a pre-marital
questionnaire to insure that both of you are free to marry in the Catholic
Church. Issues
of a prior divorce, a marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic, or the
request of
a Catholic to be married in a non-Catholic church will be fully discussed.
Do We Need Special Documents?
The pastor or the deacon who
is preparing you for marriage will explain the need for the
following documents:
Baptismal Certificate
(issued within the last six months; this is sometimes
also required of a non-Catholic if he/she was baptized)
Permission for Mixed Religion (when a Catholic marries a non-Catholic)
Permission for Disparity of Cult (Catholic marrying an unbaptised person)
Dispensation From Place (for a wedding in a non-Catholic setting)
Dispensation From Canonical Form (when the minister is non-Catholic)
Annulment Documents
(if a prior marriage ended in divorce, a copy of the
Formal Decree of Nullity is required.)
State of Maine Marriage License
(It is illegal for a minister to
perform a
wedding
ceremony without this document
in
their possession.
Please bring
the license to
the rehearsal.)
Who Can Be Married at St. Bartholomew Parish?
Registered parishioners, and
the sons and daughters of registered parishioners, are
welcome to marry at St. Bartholomew Parish.
This recognizes the fact that the Catholic
Church has a long tradition of celebrating the sacraments within one’s own
community
of faith. There can be exceptions to
this policy, however, so couples with no parish
affiliation, who wish to be married at St. Bartholomew’s, or couples who are
seeking
to marry here for other reasons, should contact the pastor for permission.
Can Non-Catholics Be Married at St. Bartholomew Parish?
A non-Catholic, who is
marrying a Catholic, is welcome to marry at
St. Bartholomew Parish.
Can Someone Who Is Divorced Be Married At St. Bartholomew Parish?
The Catholic Church regards
marriage as a permanent commitment. However,
because
there are exceptions and extenuating circumstances in this area, please advise
the pastor,
or the deacon, of your status when you first meet to arrange for your
wedding ceremony.
Should Our Wedding Include a Mass?
It is ordinarily presumed
that marriages between two Catholics that are in a position to
celebrate and receive the Eucharist will take place in the context of the Mass,
although
various reasons can suggest not having a Mass.
Since the marriage ceremony should
be a sign of all that unites the bridal couple, when one member of the couple is
not a
Catholic, and would therefore be unable to receive Communion, the marriage is
not
celebrated at Mass but with a Liturgy of the Word.
Who Officiates at Weddings at St. Bartholomew Parish?
The pastor or the deacon are
the primary individuals who officiate at weddings within our
parish.
Are Visiting Clergy Welcome at St. Bartholomew Parish?
A priest or deacon, who may
be a friend or relative of the couple, are welcome to ask for
delegation to conduct a wedding at St. Bartholomew Parish.
This includes a non-Catholic
minister when one of the parties is not Catholic.
Will the Pastor or the Deacon Attend the Reception?
Time constraints often
prevent the pastor or the deacon from attending the reception.
However, if you would like them to do so, simply extend an invitation and
they will
check their schedule.
Are We Expected to Go to Mass While We Are Preparing for Our Wedding?
Yes!
It is our expectation that regular church attendance is already a part of
your life.
And since you are asking to be married in the Catholic Church, it is important
for you
to participate in the life of the faith community that will witness your
exchange of vows.
Are We Required to Attend a Marriage Preparation Program?
Yes.
Since marriage in the Catholic Church is a sacrament, and a commitment
for life,
one of the ways we value and honor it is by taking the time to help couples
prepare.
Several options are available and the pastor or deacon will explain them
to you.
Normally, marriage preparation consists of a series of evening meetings,
a weekend
retreat, or an all-day workshop.
How Do We Pick a Date and Time for Our Wedding?
The dates and times for
weddings are available on a first-come, first-served basis and
must be scheduled at least six months in advance.
A Friday evening wedding is typically
scheduled for 6 P.M. or 7 P.M. A
Saturday wedding is typically scheduled between
10 A.M. and 2 P.M. (a two hour interval is required between the end of one
wedding
and the beginning of the next ). Weddings
may be scheduled as the parish and clergy
calendars permit.
What Offerings Are Required For a Wedding?
First
Offering:
The first offering is to our parish, to support the mission and the
ministry
of the parish, and to defray the expenses of your wedding (heating, lighting,
preparation,
janitorial services, etc.). The
church offering is $300.
(Make this check payable to
St. Bartholomew Parish).
PLEASE NOTE:
A 50% non-refundable deposit on the church offering must be paid at the
time a specific
wedding date is reserved. This has
become necessary because every year one or two
couples cancel their weddings or change their plans without notifying us.
This can result in
our refusing another couple the use of that day for their wedding.
The balance of the church
offering must be paid no later than one month in advance of
your wedding.
Second
Offering:
The second offering is for the musicians you have chosen and they are
to be paid according to their own schedule of fees.
It is expected that these fees will be
paid no later than the day of your wedding.
Third
Offering:
It has been the custom to make a separate offering directly to the pastor
or deacon who presided at your wedding, because he did not receive anything from
the
offering made to the parish (“First Offering” above).
While you may wish to offer him a
monetary gift in thanks for his help, this is not necessary.
Because there is so much for
you to remember on your wedding day, you may wish to
make this offering at the rehearsal, or even sooner.
Can the Parish Hall Be Rented?
Yes.
For a wedding rehearsal dinner, or reception, our parish hall comfortably
seats
approximately 100 people, with space left for dancing.
For fees and insurance regulations
pertaining to the use of the hall, please contact our parish secretary.
What Is the Seating Capacity of St. Bartholomew Church?
We can accommodate
approximately 500 people in the main church, and 60 people in
our chapel.
How Long Will We Have Access to the Church?
Because of additional
weddings and liturgies in the Church, each wedding party is given
the use of the church for three hours. In
addition to the wedding ceremony itself, this
allows access to the church for an hour before and an hour after the wedding.
When Will Our Wedding Rehearsal Be Scheduled?
The rehearsal is usually
held on the evening before the wedding and is typically 30 to 45
minutes in length. Those attending
the rehearsal generally include the bride and groom,
all members of the wedding party, the parents of the couple, and any readers or
other
active participants in the wedding ceremony.
Musicians generally do not attend the
rehearsal.
How
important is punctuality?
It is very important that the wedding
rehearsal and celebration begin promptly on time.
Courtesy to your guests, the tight schedule of clergy, and the use of parish
facilities for
subsequent services demand attention to this matter.
Late starting times, for example,
will almost certainly limit the ability to take photographs after the ceremony,
and may
only allow time for a Liturgy of the Word service instead of a complete Mass.
Does the church have a “bride’s room”?
Yes.
The bride’s room is located in the far right corner, as you enter the
building. We
ask that you remove all personal belongings (and boxes and papers) from this
room
immediately after your wedding in order to make it available for the next
wedding party.
Since you will be preoccupied on your wedding day, please ask one of your
attendants
or ushers to attend to this detail.
Do Our Wedding Party Members Need to Be Catholic?
No.
The Best Man and Maid (or Matron) of Honor, members of the bridal party,
and
other participants in the wedding liturgy do not have to be Catholic.
People chosen to
offer scripture readings, however, should be of the Christian faith.
And young children,
chosen to be flower girls or ring bearers, should be of a sufficient age to
function in this
capacity.
Who Will Plan Our Wedding Liturgy?
It is your responsibility to
help with the planning of your wedding liturgy.
The care and
effort you put into this, especially in choosing readings and music, and the way
you choose
to involve your family and friends, will speak volumes about who you are as a
couple, and
how much your faith means to you. The
pastor or the deacon, of course, will be pleased
to assist you in the selection of prayers, readings, and music for your wedding.
Should We Include a Unity Candle in Our Celebration?
Although it is not an
official part of the Catholic wedding ceremony, we recognize that
many couples like to include a unity candle as part of the ceremony.
Candles such as
these can be purchased at most religious goods stores, and even at some card and
gift
stores.
Are There Any Restrictions on the Types of Music We Can Use?
The music for a wedding
should reflect the religious nature of marriage.
As in any Liturgy,
the music helps to draw people into prayer and helps those gathered to offer
praise to
God. All music during the Liturgy
must be of a prayerful nature. Secular
songs are rarely
permitted. The purpose of the
service is not entertainment, but prayer. The
music should
point to the presence of God in the joining of your lives.
Our parish’s music director will
be happy to assist you in selection of music for your wedding ceremony.
Does the Parish Have An Organist?
Yes.
Our parish’s music director would be happy to assist you with the music
for your
wedding. Her name is Irene
Kecskemethy and you can contact her by calling 893-0329.
Can We Use A Musician Other Than A Parish Musician?
Yes, as long as they will be
respectful of the investment we have in instruments and sound
systems. And, of course, they will
need to be cooperative with the pastor or deacon who
can explain the proper role of music in the wedding.
Can We Include Flowers In Our Ceremony?
Yes.
Flower bouquets are typically positioned at either side, or in front of
the altar.
Please note that it is customary to leave at least some of the flowers from your
wedding
at the altar at the conclusion of the wedding ceremony in order to provide the
entire parish
community with the opportunity to share in the celebration of your marriage.
Please
inquire as to the possibility of sharing flower expenses with other couples who
may have
a wedding on the same day.
Can We Photograph Or Videotape Our Wedding?
Yes.
However, the recording of any wedding ceremony through the use of
photography
or videotape must respect the sacred nature of the liturgy and must not be a
distraction to
the minister, the bridal party, or the guests.
Photographers may take pictures of the
wedding, but they may not enter the sanctuary at any time during the ceremony.
To the
extent possible, video cameras should be positioned on a tripod and in a
stationary
position within the church. We
recognize that the camera may have to be moved to
video the procession. Photographs
may be taken in the church after the ceremony, but
only if there is sufficient time to do so before the next scheduled function.
Can We Utilize Aisle Runners and Pew Bows?
Yes.
If you decide to utilize an aisle runner, please inform your decorator
that the length
of our center aisle is 52 feet long. No
adhesive/masking tape or fasteners, or tacks or
nails, are allowed within the church. Elastic
bands, poster putty, or craft wires work best
in attaching pew bows. Any
decorating or flower arranging should be completed one
hour prior to the start of the ceremony.
Can Rice or Seeds Be Thrown After The Ceremony?
Absolutely not!
Because of maintenance considerations, no flower petals, rice, bird
seed,
or confetti is to be thrown either inside or outside of the church.
You will be held
accountable for the actions of your guests.
Does the Church Have An Alcohol Or Smoking Policy?
Yes.
Bringing alcoholic beverages into the church during a rehearsal, or
before, during,
or after a wedding ceremony is completely inconsistent with the sacred character
of the
celebration. Even champagne in the
bride’s room, as traditional as it may be for some
families, is never permitted. With
respect to smoking, please inform your guests that
St. Bartholomew Church is a completely smoke-free building.
Can We Help With the Clean-Up After the Wedding?
Yes.
Please ask someone within your circle of friends to be responsible for
removing
bows, empty boxes (including those in the bride’s room), and programs, that
may have
been left in the pews, at the conclusion of the ceremony.
What If We Change Our Minds?
If you change your mind
about the date or time of your wedding, contact the parish office
immediately. Contact us as well if
you should make the decision not to get married at all.
Finally, Our Thanks To You!
Thank you for taking the
time to review our wedding guidelines and congratulations again
on your plans to marry. We
pray that you will have a long, a healthy, and a happy life
together. God bless you both.
